Thursday, August 13, 2009

Noah's "Stuff"

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" ~Matthew 6:19-21.

I find a new meaning in these verses now that we have 5 children in Heaven! We have great treasure waiting for us in Heaven and I long to be there...home...forever. Where nothing can separate me from my children ever again and where I will be with my Savior for all of eternity!

We have so many things. STUFF! We can't take it with us when we leave this world, but it seems like we will just DIE if we don't have all our STUFF! If you have never heard the song called "Stuff" by Diamond Rio, you should check it out. My mom thinks it's hilarious...especially since she collects so much "stuff". I spent the week helping mom get rid of a lot of stuff....some of the things she's held onto since she was a child. Why do we hold on to things so tightly?

While Noah only lived 31 weeks in my womb, he still had a lot of "stuff." And while I know that all of these things are just "stuff", they serve as a reminder that he lived. I mentioned some of Noah's things in a previous post and how when you lose a child (or any loved one), you really cling to some of these things because it's all you helps to keep the memory alive I guess. Anyway, I want to share some of Noah's things with you.

Of course we have a lot of pictures. This one is one of my favorites.
The frame says, "All of God's grace in one sweet little face"

Here is the picture of Noah the day he was born and a picture of Ethan from the day he was born. Definitely brothers!

The blanket that my mother made for Noah. She started working on it as soon as she found out I was pregnant. She made one just like it for Ethan when he was born.

These are little booties that one of my customers at the bank bought for Noah. It was the first gift I received....and I don't have many because Noah passed away just a few weeks before my first baby shower.

Noah's blanket and bedding set. We didn't keep the same bedding we had for Ethan. I wanted something in the room to be be Noah's since everything else was the stuff we used for Ethan. I held Noah in this blanket and I have slept with it every night since. Once again, it's just "stuff", but it's just a comfort thing I guess. Makes me feel close to him.

His handprints and footprints. They were so tiny. His foot was a little smaller than my thumb.

My appointment cards. 31 weeks of appointments. That really seems like a very long time when I think back to my earlier visits.

Noah's ultrasound photos. I remember crying at the first one when we heard his heartbeat for the first time. I was so thankful.

Of course the hospital bracelets...

His hairbrush and comb that the grief counselor brushed his hair with after his first bath. God could tell me how many hairs were on his head! I wonder if most of it would have fallen out and he would have been bald for the first 2 years like his big brother!

His clothes. Yes, we changed his outfit a few times over the three days we were in the hospital. All of them were preemie outfits, but they were all still too big on him.

I am glad to have these things to show Ethan when he is older and maybe our other children (if we are so blessed). I love to look at all of these smell the things he wore that still have his scent, to have the memories of the time we had with him. But the truth is that my real in Heaven.

---Painting by my dear friend, Daniel McCullers that he painted during the sermon series that was done at our church entitled, "So You're Dead, Now What?" Daniel painted during the service while Philip preached. The Sunday after Noah died, the sermon was on death. The next week was on Hell and the week I returned was on Heaven. Thank you Daniel for letting me have this beautiful painting!!!


  1. I cant even imagine how you feel. I have had several "children" relatives that passed away and it was hard for me. i cant even think of how hard it would be if it was my own child.. to have to go through all the pain of losing them and burying them and then go home to the belongings of the one that you just lost left in anticipation of when they came home. I guess that is kind of why I have not really said much. I just didnt know what to say. There are not enough words to express how sad i am for you guys that you had to go through that again. There is no way i could think of going through all that i have seen you two go through. I started going to Kathleen just before you got pregnant with the twins. Although I didnt know you guys that well i was so excited for you. Then when you lost them i didnt know what to say or do and the same was with the others. All I can say is that i continue to pray for you just as i have every time you get pregnant, i love you guys. Let mem know if i can do ANYTHING for you guys.

  2. Indeed what a glorious treasure awaiting your family in Heaven... thank you for sharing this beautiful post. Hugs & prayers.

  3. Precious little Noah...what a beautiful baby boy he is.

    Oh how I ache for you. I just can't express in words how much my heart is hurting for you and with you right now.

    I am so thankful to the Lord that he has given us friends and even strangers to walk with us when we just can't walk alone.
    I am praying for you. I wish there was more I could do.
    I have read through all your posts since sweet Noah was born. My heart aches.
    I also noticed you live in GA (I'm not a stalker, promise). I do too. In fact, I live pretty close to you. I'm in Athens.
    My email is if you ever want to talk or vent. I will gladly listen. I am here with you.

    love and prayers,