Saturday, March 27, 2010

No More Tears

I feel this dark cloud hanging around. I say "around" because it's not right over me...but it's over the people around me. There has been a lot of tragedy and a lot of sadness and heartbreak going on all around me. After losing Noah I was on the receiving end of people's comforting words and prayers. These days others need them from me. A friend of mine has been betrayed by her husband and they are getting a divorce. My heart is broken for her, but I know there are better days ahead. On Sunday a dear lady that attends our church lost her son. He was killed in a tragic car accident. He was 39 years old and leaves behind a wife and 4 children. ( My co-worker's stepfather passed away. A media specialist at one of the schools in the county I work for got the news Wednesday morning that BOTH of her children (daughter 13, son 18) were killed in a car accident on their way to school. I can't even type those words without crying. The magnitude of the loss. Unbelievable. Both of her children...gone. Just like that. ( The bank where I used to work was robbed today by a man who was armed. It was at a different location from where I worked but I have friends there that are very shaken up. .

Tomorrow David is attending the funeral of an old friend of his. A man who sort of mentored David in his musicianship. A lot of people loved this man dearly and it is a difficult loss for so many.

And some people I love very much have reached the one year mark of trying to have a baby. Their hearts are heavy and there is a lot of frustration. Please pray for them as they seek medical advice next month.

Please pray for all of these families who are dealing with pain/hurt/loss.

I can't wait to get to Heaven where there will be no more hurt, no more sadness...

No more tears.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Does my heart good...

I'm so SO happy for Molly and Abraham Piper!!! If you haven't seen the video of them sharing their big news with Orison, you must check it out! The last few words out of Orison's mouth absolutely had me in a puddle on the floor...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Christ in me

I love music. I really do. It moves me. And when I'm exercising, I really need it to "move" me! Today I was at the gym doing my 40 minutes on the elliptical (which became 32 minutes because my Body Works class yesterday really kicked my butt and I am sore from head to toe) and I set my ipod to "shuffle" because 40 minutes on an elliptical seems like HOURS if you don't have an ipod. A song that I have really come to love that we sing at our church a lot is "Everything" by Tim Hughes (see video below). As the song came on my ipod I closed my eyes and just took in the words. My heart started beating out of my chest as the words were so simple, yet so powerful (or maybe it was because I was going faster and faster on the elliptical!). I opened my eyes and looked around at all of those people in that gym. From where I was I counted 76 people that I could see from that elliptical. "How many of them know Christ? How many know they are loved? How many of them feel like there is no hope? How many of them are lost? How many of them will worship Christ with me in eternity?" I was thinking these things as the words rang out, "Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me the Hope of Glory!!!" I wanted to scream the words out loud because I was certainly screaming them in my head. How great it is to be able to worship with other believers on Sundays at church and be able to sing these words...but in a gym on a Thursday afternoon while people are working out??? I'm sure I would get some strange looks and an escort to the nearest exit if I started shouting "Christ in me, the Hope of Glory!!!. So I prayed. I prayed for the people in that gym. Doesn't seem like much and maybe you don't believe that it would have any affect on their lives. But I can tell you that it affected me. I want God to help me see love like He does. There is so much hate and bitterness out there (I have seen it a lot online lately...the blog world can be a nasty place sometimes!) Some people just need to be loved and to be shown compassion.

If Christ is in me, I should be able to love the way He does.

****And on a different note....THIS totally had me crying tears of joy today! SO HAPPY FOR YOU, MOLLY PIPER!!!!****

And here is the video of "Everything" by Tim Hughes...

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Lazy Saturday

Our lives have been a little chaotic lately. The calendar has been full with no time to just hang out and spend time together as a family. Today we had planned on a garage sale, but due to rain we were forced to spend a lazy day together as a family...and I'm so glad. Ethan completely wore himself out...

Friday, March 12, 2010


It has been bothering me for weeks. Maybe I'm just naive. I really didn't know things like this existed. I stumbled upon a blog the other day where people were being critical of everything a particular blogger wrote. Then I realized the ENTIRE BLOG was created for this very discount everything this blogger stir up dissension.

And the saddest part of all...

I believe the blog was created by a Christian.

This really breaks my heart.

It does nothing but stirs up hatred in people's hearts. I really wish there was a way to shut down blogs like this. NO GOOD could possibly come from it.

God, please help me just to love and pray for these people.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


My 3 year old (soon-to-be 4 year old!) started soccer tots this week...

We think he's a natural...

But try telling him to keep his hands off the ball!!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

8 Months

From the moment I woke up this morning I was thinking about Noah. I also thought about my friend, Dawn and her daughter, Haylee today. Today is Haylee's 1st birthday, but she isn't here to eat her first birthday cake or to open her first birthday presents. But she's not in the ground either...she's in Heaven celebrating with Jesus. That brings peace to her parents, but their arms still feel empty and their hearts are still broken. Please say a prayer for them if you will.

I talked about Noah A LOT today. I always wonder when I say his name if people are thinking, "there she goes again, talking about her deceased child" or "this is so uncomfortable". I just so desperately want people to REMEMBER him. And I know it's hard to remember someone you never knew...but he's my son...please remember him. Please love your children with all that you have. Hold them tight. My heart aches tonight to hold Noah just once more. I want Ethan to have
his brother here. No matter how badly I want that it cannot happen.

I stopped by his grave tonight and just poured my heart out to God. I sat there in the dark and just let the grief overtake me once again. 8 months. I can't even believe it. I can close my eyes and still remember the smell of his skin and my lips pressed against his forehead. I want him in my arms...I just want him here so badly. He would probably be crawling by now, maybe have a few teeth...and he would definitely be smiling and giggling at us. God, I'm so mad...I'm so sad. Please comfort me. Please be here. And the song came on the radio...

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call

And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

My heart breaks just as much today as it did all those months ago.

I just miss him.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

That's What Faith Can Do

Every now and then a song comes along that moves me. This new song "That's What Faith Can Do" by Kutless is one of those songs. Our local Christian radio station tends to overplay new songs. I usually get tired of hearing the same songs over and over again, but something rises up in me every time I hear this song.

"Gotta find the strength to rise from the ashes and make a new beginning..."