39 Weeks

I woke up remembering that it was Wednesday. I was always excited when Wednesdays rolled around because it meant another week of pregnancy. I would have been 39 weeks pregnant with Noah today. I just can't believe how the time has flown by. Just one more week until his due date. I spoke with the people who work at the cemetery where Noah is buried. I had hoped we might be able to plant a tree in his honor somewhere near "Babyland" where he is buried. I wanted to do this on his due date. Unfortunately, they said they were having to take down some trees in the cemetery because of the root systems affecting some of the graves and also because of sap falling on them. We may just plant a tree in our yard, but I know we probably won't live there forever, so I wish it could be in a more permanent location.

Work has been ok so far. I've had a few customers (who didn't know what happened) ask me if I had my baby. I usually end up feeling sorry for them. They look so pitiful when I tell them what happened. They get tears in their eyes when I tell them I was just under 31 weeks when we lost him. I've heard story after story of women having multiple miscarriages. One guy yesterday told me his wife had 10 miscarriages before they had their first child. Also, the lady at the lab that did my bloodwork on Friday also had 10 miscarriages! WOW!!! It's such a heartbreaking thing to go through...no matter how far along you are. I still pray that God will spare us from having to go through it ever again.

Something my brother said to me one night when I was having a very difficult time has brought me great comfort. Since we don't know exactly what Heaven will be like or what we will be doing (other than praising God!), this was just a thought he had that he shared with me. He said that maybe God created Noah for a special job he has for him in Heaven. I believe that even though God created Noah and took him from us early, that his life and death will bring God glory even on this earth. But it's a great comfort to me to think that he may have a special purpose in Heaven too! This makes me so proud as his mommy! I'm so thankful that I was chosen to carry him for 30 weeks and 6 days.