It's 8:30 in the morning and I need to get out of bed. I woke up this morning feeling thankful. I have a God who loves me more than I could ever understand and he has blessed me with amazing friends and family. First of all, he blessed me with Godly parents. I can't tell you how many times my parents have made HUGE sacrifices for me. My parents would walk through fire for me. They have sacrificed financially for me time and time again and at one point they even sold their house and moved for me so that I could live with them while I went to college. I suffered through a severe eating disorder from the age of 18 through my early twenties. My parents did everything they could for me and helped me through my most difficult time. I could talk about a million more things that make my parents so wonderful. My mother stayed with me for nearly 3 weeks after losing Noah. She cleaned for me, she fed me, she made sure I got my medicine on time.....she mothered me. I'm 28 years old, but I'm still her little girl....her little girl who has lost her little boy....and that makes her hurt probably as much (or possibly more) than I am hurting. My parents have wept and are grieving deeply over the loss of Noah. Just having them share my hurt has helped me tremendously.
My brother, Jason. I have also been blessed with a big brother who loves me so much. Of course we fought a lot growing up, but what siblings don't? We've grown closer through the years and he's still that protective big brother. When I hurt he just wants to take it away and "fix it". I prayed for years that my brother wouldn't move away and marry some girl that I would never really know or ever have a good relationship with. God answered that prayer...better than I could have ever imagined. In April of this year, my brother married Esther and she has become one of my very best friends. She has such a tender heart and she loves all us like we've been her family forever. She loves Ethan as if he were her own. What an incredible mother she will be someday!!! Since losing Noah she has cleaned my house...and I mean CLEANED...she even shampooed my carpet! She's a true servant and I love her so much.
There are so many friends of mine who complain about their in-laws (and I don't blame them!). I don't know what makes me so special, but God chose to bless me with WONDERFUL in-laws. All of them. Every single one of them are so special to me. I grew up without a sister. I always wanted a sister and was sad that my mom could not have more children after I was born. But I have not only been blessed with great friends and sisters in Christ, but my 3 sisters-in-law are real sisters to me. Like I said before, Esther is so great, but Erica and Melissa (David's sisters) are also very dear to my heart. Melissa loves Ethan to pieces. Ethan calls her "Aunt Fiss" and he just loves her. He knows Aunt Fiss is going to play with him when we see her and he gets so excited! Erica has been a shoulder for me to cry on. She is a great listener and has let me pour out to her on many occasions. She has let me know how important Noah was and that his life mattered, no matter how short it was. Erica has never lost a child, but she is so incredibly understanding of my hurt that I feel that she has shared this loss with me.
I also have wonderful parents-in-law and step-parents-in-law. They have always treated me like their very own daughter and I feel truly loved by them. They have also cried with us and I know that losing Noah is difficult for them too as they watch their son grieve the loss of his son. My mother-in-law, Margie called me every single week while I was pregnant with Ethan and she called me every week while I was pregnant with Noah. "Happy 10th week", "Happy 20th week", Happy 25th week", she would say. She never missed a week. It made me smile.
I could go on and on about my family. Even my extended family has been here for us through our darkest hour and I'm so grateful. My church family (Discover Point Church) immediately made a plan to prepare meals for us for when we got home from the hospital. We have had a meal every single night for the last few weeks. Then my co-workers took over this week and they have made us delicious meals every night (we had a feast fit for a king last night with steaks, baked potatoes -with butter, sour cream, cheese and bacon-, corn on the cob, mac and cheese, bread, cheesecake, OH MY GOODNESS....thank you Mike and Felicia!!!). My co-workers came to Noah's memorial, sent cards and flowers, sent me emails and text messages and have just been so encouraging to David and me. Many people hate the people they work with...but my co-workers are family. I love them and I am so thankful for them.
And to all of the people who I barely know or that I'm just getting to know who have sent me long emails and messages on facebook, pouring your hearts out to me about how much our loss has affected you and how much you are praying for us....THANK YOU!!!!! You have no idea what it means to me to have brothers and sisters in Christ weep with us over the loss of Noah. To say that he mattered. He lived and he died and there is purpose that we may never understand, but if just one person is drawn closer to Christ because of Noah then it was worth it (and that is so hard to say, but it is worth it!!!). Why is it worth it??? Because this life will be over so quickly. But eternity...that is FOREVER. And that matters SO MUCH MORE!!!
So THANK YOU!