We've learned quickly that when you lose a child, you cling to the physical things that remind you of him or her. Of course we have pictures and Noah's handprints and footprints. And we have the different little outfits that were on him while we were at the hospital. But I wanted something that I could wear so that I could "carry" Noah with me wherever I go. I went to Things Remembered and bought this charm to wear as a necklace and had it engraved.
We also decided we wanted some sort of storage bench to put at the end of our bed that we could put all of Noah's things in (blankets, outfits, pictures, etc.). We went to several furniture stores and found one we liked. We ordered it and should have it by Friday.
David and I still have good days and bad. There are even moments when I will be fine and the next minute I'm hysterical. Last night was tough for us both. I started sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't stop. It took a few hours for me to calm down enough to go to sleep. David just kept saying he was angry. Not angry AT anyone, just angry with our circumstances. Angry that I'm sad, angry that Noah is gone and not understanding why. It all still just seems like a nightmare to us both. It's so painful at times that it seems unreal. I guess it will take a while to fully accept this new reality.
For those of you who aren't friends with me on facebook, below are a few pictures of Noah's feet, his handprints and footprints, and the program from his memorial service. Also, here are a few links you may want to check out:
First, the memorial page my brother set up for Noah:
For David's blog, go here:
And if you missed it, Noah's memorial video is here:
And our church: