Saturday, July 24, 2010


I have come to really hate this word, infertility. I have never experienced infertility personally, but over the past 5 years I have come to know so many women who have struggled with it, many who have overcome it, and some who have realized that having a biological child is just not God's plan for their lives. How do you give hope to a person struggling with infertility? There's really no words that bring comfort. My heart breaks when these women try month after month after month...then year after year...and still they have no child. Some may finally have one child, but then go through secondary infertility. But then there are single teenage girls out there who have unprotected sex one time and have a child they cannot afford to raise on their own. It's so difficult to understand God's ways. I've met moms that finally became pregnant after years of trying only to lose the child by miscarriage or stillbirth. A dear friend of mine is having to come to terms with the fact that she will probably never have a child. It's gut-wrenching. I'm embarrassed to say that I have been one of those who has tried to bring comfort and encouragement to those struggling with infertility with "there's always next month" or "you could adopt". That's easy for someone with a child to say. I've heard many say, "just quit trying so hard and thinking about it so much...that's when you'll get pregnant" or "as soon as you adopt a child, you'll get pregnant" (as if this is a good reason to adopt a child). I can tell you that these are definitely not helpful words!!!

I asked my sister-in-law if she minded if I shared a link to her blog. If you or someone you know has experienced infertility (whether you have overcome it or not), would you please leave my sweet sister-in-law some encouraging words or just share your story with her? She could really use some people to rally around her, pray for her, and share with her. I know she would love to connect with people who truly understand the journey she is on.

Growing up I always knew my brother would make a great dad! Kids are just drawn to him. I suppose he gets that from my mom. My brother is such a wonderful uncle to Ethan. Jason and Esther both really love Ethan like he is their own. And their love for Noah was the same. My heart breaks for them as month after month it doesn't happen for them. I don't understand God's ways, but I know His ways are higher than ours and he sees a future that we cannot see. He knows exactly what we need and His timing is so perfect. I've had to remind myself of this again and again as it seemed like the day that Max was born (Jason and Esther's other nephew) would have been the perfect day for them to find out they were expecting. That day came and went. Then Father's Day came and it seemed like God would certainly see to it that this was the perfect day where we would find out Jason would become a Father. But His ways are HIGHER than ours. One thing I know for sure is that if Jason and Esther overcome infertility, they will not forget. I know they will remember this struggle and will be able to encourage others who walk this path and will be able to share the things God taught them along the way.

In the meantime, we pray with hope...we pray with expectancy that God will give them a miracle of their own.

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." ~Mark 11:22-24


  1. Hi Lisa,

    I tried leaving a message to Ester but it would not let me for some reason. I would love to be a support person for her. We went down that road many many years. We hated and still hate the comment..."after you adopt you will get pregnant." And now that we are pregant they say "see that's all it took." I just hate it! I always say, "No it was God!" I know the pain, stuggles of nothing working, doctors not giving us hope, and rude comments by people. I would be glad to help in anyway.

  2. Hi Lisa, and Esther!

    I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone on this journey. We are going through secondary infertility right now. We thought God was finally going to bless us, after 4 years of TTC, only to give our Leila into His Hands at 20 weeks. It's hard, many times I scream how unfair it is! While I don't know exactly how you're feeling, I can completely sympathize, listen, and offer you words of encouragement. Please try not to let infertility define you. Don't let it be the focus of your world. I'm here for you...

  3. Thank you for posting this blog, Lis. I love you very much and you have been such a great comfort and support for Jason and me.

    I fixed the comment portion on my site, so others should be able to leave comments now if they would like.

    Thank you again and thanks to Melissa and Emmy for sharing your support. It means a lot to hear we are not alone.

  4. Lisa,
    You know the heartache that we have had recently, but you really don't know things in our past. I am hoping this will help Ester.
    I always felt "always an aunt, never a mother".
    At the age of 22, I was told by the medical world that "it will be unlikely that you will ever get pregnant". My heart was crushed. I felt God had given me the desire of a child and here, "professionals" were telling me that my desire would never be fulfilled.
    We tried for a child and nothing. Months...months and nothing. Clomid....nothing. I was so frustrated. During this time, both my sisters became pregnant. That added to my hurt.
    Then, one fall day, I ate a chicken sandwich at Rally's. For a week after wards, I was sick. Yep, I was pregnant. 14 weeks pregnant! (Talk about being in denial) I delivered our son and 22 months later, delivered our daughter.
    I don't know why it came so easy after trying so long. Only God knows that answer.
    The one thing I am certain of, God is the ONLY one in control. Our doctor at the time told me "I am only human and can only do human things, but God can do all things"
    I have lived by this for the past ten years.
    Although we lost two precious babies within the past 2 years, I KNOW with all my heart that God was the one in control. I, not matter how much I tried, NEVER was in control.
    I pray that God is standing in your boat as you go through this storm and he speaks the words "peace be still".
    My prayers are with you each day. I know the hurt, frustration and a sense of rejection.

  5. I love those pictures of them! I'm so sorry that they are going through this. I will definitely add them to my prayers. I have a list of couples I pray for each night that are struggling with infertility. It's always exciting to be able to switch a couple over to the "pregnancy list" in my prayers. I'll start praying for Jason and Esther tonight!

    Most of my friends that are struggling or have struggled with infertility are over on Xanga. And those that are on Blogspot are all friends that I think you are friends with, too! So I'm not much help there. It's always exciting to hear another success story, though!

  6. What a huge heart you have to be so compassionate for your sweet brother and sister in law. I'm so sad to hear they're having to endure this. Heartbreaking, no doubt.