10 Week Belly Pic
I feel so different this pregnancy. Even though this is the third time I've made it this far, in some ways I feel like it's the first time I've been pregnant. I am so much more aware of every little thing. I think I just didn't really soak in every moment with my pregnancy with Noah and now I wish I had. So I'm not taking anything for granted. I told myself after I lost Noah that I would never complain of a pregnancy symptom again. That's a lot easier to say when you aren't pregnant! The nausea has been torcher. I think I am pretty well past the worst of that now. The injections aren't so bad most of the time, but sometimes they hurt really bad. Last night was a bad one and I had a bit of a break down. Sometimes I just get mad that I have to take them, but also mad that Noah could have been saved by them. Anyway, it's really not as bad as I thought it would be...taking an injection every night. It's more of an aggravation than anything.
Every day I am realizing how very blessed we are. It was a terrible tragedy we went through last year and we still grieve, but I know we should never take for granted the fact that we were able to get pregnant again as soon as we tried and that this baby is doing so well. And Ethan is such a miracle. We realize that now more than ever. I hurt so much for others who have never been able to conceive or who haven't conceived again since losing a child. My heart is broken for my brother and sister-in-law and all that they are going through. They are so gracious about it all. How very hard I know it is for them to have watched both of their sisters be pregnant while they plead with God every night to give them a child. I don't know or understand God's plan for them, but I have so much hope. I know they will make wonderful parents. They love their nephews so much. They loved Noah like their own. I can't even fathom the hurt they have experienced over the last several months and the realization that they cannot have a child without medical intervention or through adoption. They both have so much faith though and know that God hasn't forgotten them.
Ethan is at my mom's house for the week while he is on Fall Break. I miss him SO MUCH already!!! I know he is having a great time and will make some great memories...but I'm selfish and want him here with me all the time! :o)
I'm praying for so many of you who are pregnant with your rainbow babies or who have just recently had your rainbow babies. I know that when we have this baby we will be overcome with emotions we have never experienced before. That day can't come soon enough! And if you read Angela's blog you will notice that she and I are due the same day! April 3rd! :o) How fun!