Impatiently Waiting

UPDATE: My doctor's appointment went great and Ella is doing very well. Her heartbeat was on the lower side (120's) so Dr. D went ahead and put me on the NST. She had great accelerations and everything looked great. Dr. D had not yet scheduled my c-section, so she asked if I preferred Thursday or Friday. I told her either day was fine. She texted me later and said to be at the hospital at 5:30 Thursday morning and the c-section is scheduled for 7:30. So it looks like we are having a St. Patty's Day baby!!! I am a little bummed however that my favorite nurse (Amy) who was with us when we had Noah will not be able to be there on Thursday. She will be there Friday, but I'm sad she won't be able to be there with us during the surgery. :o( My bro and sis-in-law will also not be able to be there because of work and other obligations that they absolutely can't get out of, so they are a little bummed too, but I know we will have the rest of our lives to all enjoy Ella together. Please be in prayer for us on Thursday morning!


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Original Post...
I can see that several of you are checking in on me a few times a day. Sorry! I guess an update would be nice. Ella is set to arrive via c-section this Friday. We will have internet at the hospital, so I promise we will update with pics as soon as we can! At my last doctor's appointment my blood pressure was a little higher than it has been the whole pregnancy. Not high, just higher. I also had a little protein in my urine. I go back to the doctor today and if either my BP or the protein has gone up, they may consider delivering today or tomorrow, but that's unlikely. Most likely our baby girl won't arrive until Friday afternoon sometime. Can I just say that I have never been more impatient for something than I am about her arrival? I'm very anxious and trying to just give it over to the Lord (every hour!!!). She's moving a lot today which comforts me. I just want her here while I know she is developed and thriving!!! Speaking of thriving, the ultrasound tech at my high risk doc estimates that Ella is about 8lbs, 9oz. WOAH! Keep in mind that I'm only 37 weeks and 2 days! Ethan came on his due date and he was 8lbs, 3oz. She would probably be a 10-pounder if we had to wait until 40 weeks to deliver! I must admit that I'm a little sad that she won't be a tiny baby when she arrives. She's ALREADY growing up too fast!

I had a breakdown yesterday. It's a mix of hormones, tired of being pregnant, anxious for her to arrive safely, and being just plain exhausted. Fear had a grip on me yesterday. I had all these thoughts of the thousands of different scenarios that could happen between now and Friday and I just became overwhelmed. Since I lost Noah, I've heard from countless women about how they lost their child. It really is unbelievable how many different things can go wrong in a pregnancy...even at the end. Usually grief follows fear. I started thinking about Noah and missing him so much. I ache to have him in my arms while I also desperately ache to have Ella in my arms. It's strange that in just a few days we will walk through the same doors of that hospital where we left empty-handed and broken-hearted just 20 months ago. I'm praying that God is writing a whole different story for us this time. I want that place of heartache and sadness to be filled to the brim with joy and love for a little girl. A little girl that is here because of her brother.

It won't be long now. These last few days are definitely dragging by. I know she will be here soon. For now, we just have to wait.